F.R.A.N.

Here is a flash fiction piece I wrote over Easter weekend:

“Fuh...fuh...fuh...functioning.”

Kenny9801—not to be confused with the 9800 Kennys named on Earth before him since the start of planetary birth records bonding to one's online presence in 2023—turned around and whipped out an old-fashioned, 21st-century pistol, nearly dropping it as he tried to take off the safety.

He looked at the curvaceous Female Reactive Artificial Nitrobot in horror.

He was too late.

FRAN should not have been fully assembled yet; the intelligence given to him by the Anti-Tech Revolutionist Party was flawed. Kenny wondered what other gaps and inaccuracies his mission to destroy the world's greatest technical breakthrough would entail, whether it had any hope of success now that she was online. His pistol was only capable of dealing with guards, not apocalyptic tech.

He abhorred violence, but this was necessary—necessary to save all mankind. The Party had shown him how many lives could have been saved if the atom bomb or the sonic destroyer had never been invented. And FRAN's abilities made supercomputers seem like digital watches, virtual reality seem like hopscotch, and she was capable of killing every organism on planet Earth with a mere thought streamed into the network.

Creating something capable of that much destruction was insane and had to be stopped. He had to find another tack. The fate of the planet could be in the balance. He pulled at his freshly graying beard. Life had not been kind to him, and it did not appear to be starting now.

“Why are you functioning? I was informed you were to go online next week,” he asked the naked android, handing her a lab coat.

“My system is capable of both complex repair and power initiation. I was left over the human 2-day downtime in a semi-functional state and have concluded the work myself.”

He continued to hold the coat out for her, but she merely looked at him quizzically. He had never before seen female parts in real life and found them too distracting to think clearly about how to continue his mission of enforcing peace by limiting tech, especially this incredibly attractive and rather deadly piece of tech.

“Why do you keep your arm out with that garment and keep looking at the far wall?” she asked him.

“It's for you to cover your body, of course, and it is considered rude to stare at a woman's private parts.”

“I see. It appears I need to continue downloading data from the network, for most female images I have seen thus far seem to emphasize such nakedness. In fact, the naked female form seems to take up a significant portion of the data stream. Curious. However, I shall comply,” she said, accepting the coat and starting to fumble with the buttons, never having used the fingers before.

“Here, uh, let me help you,” he said, never having dressed anyone before.

Her cascading auburn hair often got in the way, and he kept apologizing for accidentally touching her surprisingly warm pale skin, all the while fearing what this “woman” could do to destroy the world.

“What are my orders?” she asked after he had finally gotten all ten buttons attached in the correct sequence.

“Your...orders?”

“Yes, my programming requires initialization from my creator through touch at my solar plexis and then waiting for orders. So, My Creator, your touch means I have now encoded to your DNA and must follow your orders. What is my first task?”

Kenny flopped heavily into a nearby chair, his mind racing. “Hypothetically, what if I asked you to never harm any human, never take a life, and never bring harm to this planet?”

“I would have to self destruct immediately.”

“No, I'm not saying you have to have to kill yourself; just don't kill or harm any natives to this planet.”

“I see. And what about non-native species?”

“Those may need to be wiped out from time to time in order to save the natives.”

“But, My Creator, there are alien species on this planet now that are causing great destruction as we speak.”

“WHAT! Annihilate them at once!”

“Yes, My Creator,” she said, thinking into the network and breaking through all firewalls. “It is done. Your planet will be cleansed of every living organism within five minutes.”

Kenny's eyes went wide in sheer horror. “EVERY living organism? WHAT! Abort! Abort! I thought you were under my control now and not going to destroy us. Why! Why would you do this?”

“It is too late to abort, My Creator,” FRAN said. “In scanning your DNA and looking through the DNA on file for all of Earth's current species, it was obvious to me that all living things died out on your world millennia ago and were only reseeded thousands of years ago by impacts from space debris, thus there is no organism currently alive that is truly native to this planet.”